Star Wars The Rise Of Skywalker Spoiler Review and Nerdy Stuff
The Rise Of Skywalker is the 3rd film in the sequel trilogy and the last movie overall in the long-running skywalker saga which was started with a new hope (then just simply titled Star Wars) in 1977. I have always loved Star Wars even the prequel trilogy (which is mostly hated by fans) as they were the first Star Wars films I saw as a kid. I have a nostalgic soft spot for them. They are by no means masterpieces compared to the original trilogy but they are a fun addition to the story, even the new ones in there entire Disney glory are great at times, Rogue One, in particular, is my all-time favourite star wars film. However, Rise Of The Skywalker had the monumental task of wrapping up over 40 years of storytelling and also needs to tell a compelling and interesting story of its own…so does it achieve this?
The short answer is… no, it does not and to be quite honest it’s my least favourite Star Wars film. Nothing about this film other than the visuals are even deemed ‘good’ by my standards. The dialogue is clunky and cheesy. The action sequences are shoddy and uninteresting and the story is just plain garbage and feels forced and I hate it.
The film had a pretty rocky production due to rewrites and a change of director (from Collin Trevorrow to J.J.Abrams) and changing the title from the perfectly titled Star Wars Duel of Fates to the one we know The Rise Of Skywalker. It’s fan speculation that the film was re-written to retcon the events of The Last Jedi, a film that I hated the first time I saw it but upon a second viewing, it’s actually pretty spectacular. I think that is because I went into The Last Jedi with too large of expectations thinking to myself it was going be the best star wars film ever as I am a real big fan of Rian Johnson and i think that overshadowed my overall opinion. Therefore, I went into this film with average expectations and wasn’t expecting much, to be honest, but what was delivered was even worse than I could have ever thought. They relied too much on nostalgia and callbacks and bringing back old characters to mask the fact that they had no idea what they were doing and used pathetic tactics to make this film somewhat palatable but they couldn’t even do that but hey, who cares when it makes them a fortune either way.
The story is laughably bad they bring back the emperor but in the most obvious and stupidest way possible, nothing like how they explained how Darth Maul survived, having the Dark side fuel his hatred so much it kept him alive long enough to build a mechanical lower body nothing cool and badass like that. No, he’s a clone, They cloned him and them have him say that it was his plan all along even before Darth Vader and he made Snoke and got into Rey’s head pulling her to the dark side and them have him kill him so his soul or something takes over her like all Palpatine’s before him, uh no I don’t believe it. But just for laughs, this is what Palpatine’s plan would look like if he were to go step by from Revenge Of The Sith to The Rise of Skywalker.
Step 1:Make Darth Vader
Step 2: Try to make Darth’s son turn to the Darkside
Step 3: Die
Step 4: Get cloned
Step 5: Make Snoke
Step 6: Get Snoke Killed
Step 7: Reveal yourself before you have fully healed for some reason
Step 8: Try to get Ben Solo and Rey to kill each other
Step 9: Talk to Rey about the previous 8 steps
Step 10: Die.
So I’m not a tactician but I think this plan is pretty shoddy. I mean who has a plan where 2 steps out of 10 are “DIE” its just stupid.
Also having forced in the fact that Rey is a Palpatine and expect the audience to believe that Palpatine has to be sleeping around with someone during the gap of episode 3 and 4 in order to have a son to father Rey is utterly bizarre. Some people might say that the baby just happened to a virgin similar to what happened with Anakin, but that isn’t the case. The writers have confirmed that Rey’s dad is Palpatine’s biological son so the darkest and most powerful sith has had sex…have fun with those fan-fictions.
I’m getting frustrated just writing about this so I’m going to wrap it up in a quick paragraph.
Rise Of The Skywalker is hands down the worst way I could have ended in 2019. It is clunky and just plain awful and an insult to 40 plus years of the epic story. The characters are boring and uninteresting, which is odd as I liked the new trilogy characters in the previous two films. It was so obvious that scenes with Carrie Fisher were archived footage and her death scene was supposed to be emotional but it was just clumsily handled by making her a silhouette in the background. They also made it not clear what actually killed her. The final closing lines were cheesy as hell with Rey kissing Ben just as he dies in her arms. Followed by her introducing herself to a stranger as Rey Skywalker was awful. I could delve more into the film making aspect of this film but frankly, there isn’t much to talk about other than it looks like a Star Wars film visually and the CGI is great but other than that nothing mind-blowing or even remotely ok.
Final Score
Title:Bad
The final entry to the Skywalker story was the biggest gut punch to an avid star wars fan and ending the franchise that I love on such a low is hurtful. It is an nicely shot, semi well-acted stinking piece of garbage and I can’t stand it.
Head Over Reels 