Terribly Great.
Zombeavers is a 2014 horror movie written and directed Jordan Rubin and it was that awful but enjoyable that it gave ,me a idea for a new series on my blog titled ‘Terribly Great’ these are pretty much reviews of films that in all honesty should be getting scores of one’s two’s and three’s out of ten but somehow flips the script on my review format and gets it own special little Review in the form of this writing so what makes Zombeavers such a fun watch.
First of all this film is not to be taken seriously at all, anyone who went into this watch thinking they were going to see a horror masterpiece similar to Wes Craven or John Carpenter needs to get there head checked however on the other hand anyone who watches this movie and says they didn’t have at least a little enjoyment out of it also needs their head checking as this film isn’t an amazing piece of cinema but the filmmakers know that and went all out on this cartoonish, zombie genre romp that had me laughing at everything that this does wrong and its incredible.
So story, an unknown chemical compound falls from a truck a float downstream to the nearby Beaver dam. The Beavers then ingest this compound and become Zombeavers…because why not, then a group of girls come to stay in a little boat house located near said Beaver dam to get away from their boyfriends because one of them cheated on them (I know Oh so scandalous ) however the boyfriend show up and alas so do the Zombeavers and the film just happens. This story was never going to win any awards but that’s not why we watch these sort of movies is it, we watch it for over the top acting, Zombie mammals and maybe a little bit of hilarious sex scenes and my god does this deliver all of this in bucket loads.
Now let’s talk about the star of the show the Beavers. The Beavers are just terrible, they would look alright as a static model at a National Geographic exhibit at a museum of something but in a movie where we are supposed to believe that they are alive-or undead just doesn’t work… However it just adds the hilarity as the beavers scurry and shake and wrestle fully grown humans to the floor with ease showing low budget acting and props at its finest.
To give the film credit the jokes are actually pretty decent. I laughed more at what I was supposed to laugh at than I thought I would. Although the best jokes are the decisions the filmmakers made in this movie some great examples are Dutch Hano not holding a baseball bat correctly or that they couldn’t film in a bathroom stall so the green screened the entire thing it’s honestly bonkers.
I actually don’t want to spoil much as I recommend that you watch this, just so you can have a good laugh. Get a group of friends together get a few drinks and take a shot everytime someone makes a joke about a woman’s beaver honestly you will have one hell of a night, although you’ll be too drunk to remember anything about it…so guess you can do it all over and over and over again
The acting is cringy and over the top, all the ‘Teenage’ characters are played by people well in their late 20’s or early 30’s and all they care about is getting laid.The beavers are just terrible static models that just slide across the floor, and when people are getting attacked by the beavers it’s just some actor you’ve never heard of wrestling with a plushie beaver thats been doused in a little bit of fake blood. All this and a cameo appearance at the start and end of the movie of Bill- BillyButterTits-Burr all come together to make one of the most fun viewings I’ve had in lock down so far just get ready for lots of jokes about Beavers both the dam building mammal sort and the female anatomy.
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